I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
