Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
