So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
