His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Too much gin, very little bucket
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
