No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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