hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize