the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize