Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
