you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
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You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
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Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Drunk is not a location!
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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