there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
