I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
