i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My vagina just recognized that song.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
