So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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