Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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