i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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