Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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