Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
