You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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