It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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