Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
