so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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