It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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