DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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