only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
