I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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