Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize