He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
