if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
