Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Randomize
