we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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