she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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