I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize