It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
