i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
