The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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