just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I forgot wine drunk hurts
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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