i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
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