if you like me you must not know who I am
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
