Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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