Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize