Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
