i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
