I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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