Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
