Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
