I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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