You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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