This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
