ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
