Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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