Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
