She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
