Having a random hookup so left but love u
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize