Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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