HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
