My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
