what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
