I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
